My Old Racist Friend and I

Why on my part Martin B and Michelle B (or H, whatever) have terminated our friendship of…I dunno, a few years.

My main reasons:

  • I was stupid enough in the past to ignore a statement about South Africa being far better off under white rule/apartheid. However today she repeated this viewpoint, and again moments when I asked just to make sure what I was hearing. The white people are more oppressed now than the black ones ever were. I had previously also noticed things such as Jacob Zuma never being referred to as the President, or by his name. It’s The Black President or Ruler – make sure to empathise the adjective. It’s very much the most important thing about the ruler of a country.
  • The attack on my political beliefs had become constant. Without droning on about too much about it, I support as much individual liberty as possible, with minimal to no government. Economically, I’m a communist. Michelle’s fairly good natured jibes at my being an extremist soon grew to rage fits growing from any ideological dispute, for example my belief that infant circumcision removes choice from the child and that the government (if it’s there) shouldn’t give state funding to religious institutions. Comparisons with all manner of regimes and dictators from the left and right sprung up, which were more confusing than anything else. And if anyone wants to put forward their own theories on how I compare to Franco and Kim Jong-Un, I would genuinely love to read such things. Read, not have screamed into my face in between accusations that I can’t wait to see Nelson Mandela die and I don’t understand that mentally handicapped people are human beings. (Quick Quiz on what those last two accusations were based on – is the answer: a) Nothing or b) Something? tune in next week to find out.
  • The anarchists in Catalonia crushed by Franco ‘kinda had it coming’ as they were unable to defend themselves. She carried on smirking as I reminded her Franco killed 150,000 to 400,000 people. During the white terror women (including pregnant ones) were raped, executed, forced to walk naked through the streets after being fed castor oil to make themselves shit themselves in public. It was incredibly hard to control my anger with that fucking smirk right there. At this point she jumped up and shrieked: “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HITLER KILLED?”

    “Yes Michelle, one of many reasons I hate scum like Hitler…”
    Sits down. “Oh, Martin…” the smirk returns “you’re so ignorant.”

  • I didn’t give as good as I got, although I got angry enough to start flinging some amount of bile back, at least until I realised the futility of it. We each called the other ignorant, plain stupid, a few more personal ones, some which I meant and some I didn’t. Not going to list them here, because I’m not writing this because I’m angry that she does x or y. I’m angry she’s a racist. And I’m even more fucking angry at myself for not noticing something which has been apparently been somewhat apparent to others for a while. And I feel even happier being an extremist. Because from over here, extremism looks a lot less scary than that mess.


One of the last things she screamed at me was that I never really knew her at all. I guess even an apartheid-apologist clock is right twice a day.